against all better judgment, here are some things
Today's entry will be short because the details I am privy too are admittedly light. However, the situation is delicious.
Imagine if you will a friendship so strong that one is willing to go out of their way to preemptively prove they are supportive of their lifestyle. This story comes from an age when a male rooming with a gay male as friends would have been seen as guilt by association, and when they still ridiculously referred to homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle.
This tale was probably better left untold.
A couple of guys met in college and bonded over a lot of the same things all guys bond over - drinking, Madden, drinking... so when the time came, the two decided to share an apartment rather than find strangers. They were very compatible, and in spite of the usual territorial pissing matches that arise when two males live together, never seemed to get on one another's nerves.
In fact, the two seemed very deft at unspoken communication. They knew when to avoid the apartment if the other had someone over, when not to pry too much into the other's life, and best of all, each had their own jar of peanut butter. They became as close as any two guys could.
But one of the guys, let's call him Skippy, started to think a little too hard about all the things he had never pried about. One thing led to another and Skippy started to wonder if his roomie, Jif, was actually a homosexual. Jif was neater and used a lot of product to look like something out of a salon style book. Rather than stew about this, worried it was true, Skippy instead wanted to be mindful and supportive.
Like most straight males, he had no idea how to do that.
It was, reportedly, a grand effort. Housewares that needed purchased or replaced were selected by their being pink. Skippy tried to be neater around the house and less disgusting with his hygiene. He didn't talk about girls, not in the way he used to. He started making diffuse comments about how well built or cool actors looked on movies. He started watching RuPaul and Queer Eye.
It all came to a head that after night out of heavy drinking (Just Skippy, Jif had a date), one of the boys decided to take a jab at Jif's sexual preference. A fight ensued. Skippy got a pretty good shiner that could not be hidden from Jif. When Jif asked what had happened, Skippy left out all the hurtful homophobic bits.
Eventually the pair were without dates on a Friday night and decided to go out. Skippy suggested they go to a local spot - a well known gay dance bar. Jif seemed reluctant, Skippy clumsily explained how open minded he is and how it might be fun. Besides, where else can you really dance?
Weeks went by and Jif is distant. He's absent more. Talking less. Eating in his room. Then one day Skippy comes in to find Jif has moved out. There was a note. I don't recall the exact wording but the punchline is unforgettable.
Jif was uncomfortable rooming with a gay.
He wished him well, and wished his own sensibilities weren't so fragile, but he felt like he needed to extract himself from the apartment before something was said or happened that hurt their friendship. And from there, Skippy began looking for a new roommate.
There is an entire industry of people out there willing to long-windedly and without humor tell you about relationships. If you ever want a fun snowy afternoon, sit down at your favorite Google Chrome providing platform and try to establish a vetting process for a relationship "expert." It doesn't even matter what specialty or theater you choose. By the end of one hour you will hurt in places of your brain that you haven't used since that time your uncle explained his take on the Hotel California lyrics.
College is a magical time when you extend your immaturity while making decisions that will forever send ripples through your adult life. Much like high school, there are a lot of folks looking back at the glory days of higher education, but not so much for the intellectual stimulation and meaningful relationships.
I was once in a friendship with a woman while we were both officially in other relationships. We were coworkers and both going through a rough patch and somehow slipped into a "text and occasional lunch" relationship. The boundaries slipped, but alas it was all just open heart talk.